Geraniums

My grandmother used to have potted geraniums on the stair landing under a window...

Lately, I have this pressing urge to grow geraniums myself, although I never liked the plant before. Never. I found them common and old fashioned in a most unromantic way. I never liked the red ones she grew and always thought they smelled sour.

Why do I want them now?

I've had many opportunities recently to reflect with others on the major events of my past... the big turning points in the novel of my life. How did I become this person? Why?

So many things can be explained by a single moment. So many others simply cannot be explained at all. Why do I want geraniums in my windows? Sure, I associate them with my grandma... but I associate so many much BETTER things with her! I'm not craving raspberry bushes or kohlrabi! There is no answer.

Sometimes there just aren't any answers.