26.6.09

Looking Up...

Today is the first day of my 36th year.



Life sure sneaks up on you. With every birthday, time seems to move its metronome up a few ticks... exponetially. Each of my anniversaries sends me further into spirals of doubt, fear, angst... and the realization that I don't spend enough of my time in the NOW.


Erin's photo assigment this week was "Look Up." I thought about this in two different ways:



What first came to mind was a lyric from Ani DiFranco. "When I look down, I miss all the good stuff. When I look up, I just trip over things." When I go hiking, I often recall this quote... and remind myself that tripping a little is better than missing all of the beauty around me. I also remember something Deepak Chopra said about trying to look out to the horizon... keeping our focus wide... and how that would utlimately help us to live in the present moment.


How often am I driving, walking, living... in this sort of tunnel vision? I no longer watch television largely because it freaks me out how easily I slip into the landscapes someone else has created... how readily my focus is sucked away. (If I get too emotional/scared/anxious during a movie, I remind myself to just look away from the screen for a moment... look up to the ceiling and remember that I'm just in a regular sort of place.)


While Look Up became another reminder to get outside of that laser beam sort of seeing, it also reminded me to... be smaller... to look at little things as if they are the biggest things in the universe... to get down on my hands and knees or lie on my back... and look up at the trees, the flowers, the grass... like a little child... like a squirrel or a snail.

Cats become mountains.
Weeds become jungles.
Flowers become skyscrapers.

And seconds become days.


Today is my 35th birthday, and it is my intention to do more looking up. Time moves too quickly if we stop paying attention... and I don't want to miss any more of the good stuff!

23.6.09

Protein

I have come to a new place in my eating/consuming mini-revolution.

I met up with a friend for drinks yesterday and told him of my recent attempts at eating sustainably and returning to vegetarianism. In speaking aloud, I found myself going in two directions at once... because that's precisely what I've been trying to do!

I live in Colorado. That's a big problem for a vegetarian who is going to eat only locally produced foods. We have a relatively short growing season... and a dry one at that. We also have no ocean, in case you are geographically challenged. So... protein? Where is a vegetarian going to get enough locally produced protein to be healthy?

I'll tell you... they won't.


So far, I have been eating fish from the freezer and from cans because I happened to have already purchased them and don't believe in waste. (Perhaps it is also important to share that I don't eat fresh water fish. I can't get it past my gag reflex. I've tried for 30+ years and no amount of "masking" fishy fish seems to work.) But what happens when the pre-purchased fish runs out?

Eating only locally raised protein means I'm going to have to make some further adjustments. One can only eat so many eggs!

No more vegetarianism. It was short lived, I know, but it just doesn't make a lot of sense. It seems just as healthy all around to eat a little Colorado ostrich, chicken, and bison to supplement my diet... as long as they are free grazers. They are all lean, right? It's not McDonald's, that's for sure.

The saddest thing to me about this change of plans is that... well, I love seafood! It somehow failed to dawn on me that I won't be eating it unless I happen to be in California or Rhode Island visiting friends... (or unless some wonderful host decides to serve it while I'm at their table). I don't miss much in terms of food... but I will miss that. Sushi?! Ugh. Out of the question.

Thank goodness Melanie is taking me out for Sushi and Karaoke for my birthday Friday night in Laguna Beach! Moderation? It will be tossed out the window that night, I'm afraid.

If you haven't yet read Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, I strongly recommend you check it out at your local library. You can listen to it on CD in your car as well, if you don't have extra time to read. Sure, there are a lot of texts available on the topic of sustainable eating, but Kingsolver has a way of making it enjoyable.

18.6.09

Food Riot

World's Best Tuna Salad - By Yours Truly

Best Tuna Salad on the Planet:

1 can chunk light tuna in spring water, drained

½ apple, diced (granny smith or another tart variety is best)

1-2 tbs. chopped onion

1 tbs. chopped cilantro

2 tbs. chopped pecans

Juice of ½ lime

Salt, black pepper, red pepper flakes to taste

Mix in a bowl and serve with crackers or toast.

Serves one as meal, two as appetizer.



I am finally back in my beloved Denver and am fully engaged in Phase III of my four phase life plan. Phase III is all about changing habits, particularly my eating habits. First and foremost, I have reclaimed vegetarianism... or, rather, my own form thereof. I am still eating fish and will eat whatever a host sets before me (graciousness is more important than holding to a diet), but I am completely avoiding all other meats in my own home.

This is not because PETA has finally crept into the doorways of my heart. Quite frankly, I am far more concerned about the treatment of my own species, particularly the starving ones. No, I've cut out red meat and poultry for two other reasons: 1) My body simply feels better without them clogging up her intestines and arteries, and 2) all of the corn, soy and other produce that could feed millions of hungry humans is, instead, feeding livestock... guzzling billions of gallons of fossil fuels to do so.

That said, it should be obvious that, if my body tells me it needs animal protein, I may be infrequently supplementing my diet with locally raised, grass fed meats such as Colorado ostrich or bison. I will also buy only locally produced, free range eggs and cheeses. (My first purchase to this order, made last night, was apple wood smoked goat cheese from Boulder! I can't deprive myself of goat cheese!)

To my delight and surprise, Safeway now has clearly marked their locally grown produce and other products! Imagine how thrilled I was to walk into the store and immediately find Colorado cantaloupe?! In fact, there were so many Colorado-grown cold vegetables, spring fruits and baby herbs and lettuces, I had to start pulling things back out of my cart! Thank you, Safeway, for making this life change so much easier!

For less than $70, I was able to buy strawberries, melon, potatoes, tomatoes, two kinds of lettuce, asparagus, radishes, cucumbers, pine nuts, eggs, bread (locally made, but unfortunately not grown), organic bulk rice, fresh Parmesan, honey, jam, yogurt, butter, ice cream (Boulder again) and, of course, my staple goat cheese! (I also purchased a ginger root, a few organic limes, and several cans of tuna, which pushed my budget up to just over $75. But, hey, for a first try, I'd say 93% isn't bad!)


While in KCMO, my friend Pete Dulin inspired me to start using more ginger, more cilantro... more herbs and spices in general... and less salt, fat, and sugar. This, along with my new diet and local lifestyle, have already planted the seeds of creativity where cooking is concerned. I've only been home 1 1/2 days and already I've created three deeply satisfying meals I might never otherwise have gifted myself.

The first, made quickly Tuesday night after the long drive back from Missouri, was inspired by Pete's own "Asian Tuna Salad" and the herbs that were waiting for me in my own garden. Cilantro was the key! (So were the few items left in my cupboards.) No, apples are not in season... and surely I won't be buying them again until autumn. Still, they were already in my fridge and needed to be consumed. Waste not, want not. The result of my experiment is the recipe I've shared at the top of this post. It was so good, I had to make it again for lunch yesterday!

Last night, I baked a piece of salmon that has been frozen for centuries in Melanie's, then Tom's them my own freezer! Talk about a gas guzzler! Alas, it needed to be eaten, small as it was. I made up a quick salad with a little lime juice and sea salt, toasted some pine nuts and roasted asparagus, and baked the fish with a lime juice, ginger, and cilantro marinade. Holy heck, was it delish! With a little fresh bread and some strawberries, it was a nutritionist's dream meal!

And talk about color!

Erin's photo assignment this week is about colors, and capturing as many of them as possible in a single image. My meals over the last day and a half have provided just those images! My breakfast this morning (shown in the two images in the middle of this post) was a flavor and color riot!

Everything on my plate was locally grown/made except for the ingredients used to bake the bread. The mint and basil came straight from my own amazingly glorious garden, making it taste all the more special and rich.

It's not difficult (or expensive) to eat more mindfully and sustainably. In fact, all of the local farmers' markets open this week, making it even easier to buy fewer gas guzzlers, support our local food producers, and spend less money. Safeway, too, has made things all the less challenging.

For help starting your own food revolution, check out THIS WEBSITE.

6.6.09

Sweetness and Light


I'm finding it to be true...  the most important, the most beautiful, the most healing things are Sweetness & Light.

Sweetness:  Another word for Compassion.  "Be sweet" is something a friend's grandmother said instead of "good bye."  Be sweet, indeed.  Be kind.  Be thoughtful, mindful, and open.  Be warm, loving, tender, open...  Why would you want to be any other way?  (And would you want anyone else to be any other way?)

Light:  In the metaphysical world, we talk about Light as Love, as God.  Many people close written/typed communication with "Love & Light," or "Sending you Light."  Light is energy, sacred energy, and represents hope, goodness, clarity, warmth, and awakening.  Transcendence.  Light is what leads us out of Darkness, out of fear, anxiety or depression.  Light fills the shadows of our hearts and minds, sweeps away the negative ideas and feelings and makes everything safe again.


Sweetness & Light.  Compassion & God.  What better with which to save ourselves?  


So often, when I'm truly being mindful, I notice that my feelings of sadness or negativity stem from defensiveness...  defense against fears, against things my brain creates...  not against anything real.  "She must hate me."  "He had to have meant that I'm fat."  "Her mom seems angry with me."  "I'm stupid/ugly/worthless/whatever."  It's all crap!  And if I can just stop, listen to myself...  not my brain, but my soul...  and fill the hurting spaces with Sweetness & Light...

Everything is healed.

Sweetness & Light...    strawberries and champagne for the soul!    

So, after taking The Vow, and meditating on what that means to me...  I've decided that every time I get upset, I will ask myself, "What can I do to be sweet to myself?  To someone else?"  I can surround them/myself with Light...  imagine it, feel it...   and give something simple...  a smile, a gentle word, a moment of peace/space, a piece of fruit...  it doesn't matter as long as it
 soothes.

This has already proven incredibly effective.  

And I know it might seem strange to you that I've mentioned doing something sweet for myself...  but it's my brain that needs retaining...  and my soul that deserves compassion.  If I'm angry, if I'm upset or feeling something negative toward another...  it's a defense against a past hurt, a closing down of some sort...  and I need to retrain myself to remember "It's not about me" and "I am worth loving" and...   Sweetness & Light are truly all that matters.  

I need to allow myself the Space to be quiet and let in those two healing elements...  and send them outward as well...   and "reward" myself for remembering what is real.

4.6.09

Numbers.



I was deeply inspired today.  The sun was coming through the office window just right...  and Pam's turquoise and green walls were calling to be painted with still life.



I spent hours in the office...  1.2.3.    I could have stayed much longer, but then, in the front yard, pools of light created stages for new kinds of flowers...  



I am so grateful for Erin's assigments.  I am equally grateful for the lushness of Missouri and her final push toward summer.

I felt beautiful today...  because I was surrounded by so much beauty.

1.6.09

It Starts With A Color - A Photographic Treasure Hunt


One of the loveliest people I've come across started an inspirational Flickr group.  I've been watching the creativity spring from this simple idea for a few weeks now and have finally joined the group myself.

Erin says, "I have been trying to think of ways to inspire those who need it {myself included} to make creativity more of a priority in daily life and to see beauty in the small things. I have come up with this: once per week, I will give any of those who wish to participate, a photographic treasure hunt of sorts. "

(You can read more about it on Erin's blog:  applesforpoppyanne.typepad.com .)

She started with Turquoise, Yellow, White&Green, and now Numbers.  I started "unofficially" with White&Green last week and found inspiration in the dogwood blossoms outside Pam's house:


I will back-track and do Turquoise and Yellow this week along with Numbers.  It's great to have a weekly "assignment."  I certainly need the motivation.  

I feel so far away from myself right now.  Part of it is being away from my beloved Colorado.  More of it is simply not having any space of my own.  Two more weeks...   made far easier to get through thanks to Erin and her idea.  Direction.  Something just for me.  Something totally unrelated to the rest of my task here in KCMO.

So, thanks, Erin!